Miss Liliana B.

Coffee, Cherry Chocolate Cake & my Canon.

So yesterday, I was aimlessly walking through Murray Street Mall during my lunch break when I was approached by a charming young man who wanted to take my photo.

I had to look around to make sure he was actually talking to me, the awkward dorky looking girl with a bag full of KFC in one hand and a Pepsi in the other.

He gave me his business card, reassurance that he wasn’t some creepy pervert with a camera trying build on his ‘personal collection’, he was in fact collecting some street portraits for his “Perth Street Fashion” project.

Here I am, in all my geeky glory, representing the Insurance Underwriters of the world as finally being “fashionable”, actually i just look like a librarian….

Really, it’s not the thick blunt fringe, classic Ray Bans and worn to buggery vintage brown boots that I’m rocking that make this photo, IMHO it’s the Pepsi.  (He was kind enough to hold my bag full of gunky fried chicken while shooting me.)

I have always been an admirer of the likes of Yvan Rodic (Aka Face Hunter) and Lou O’ Bedlam, they have been my greatest creative inspirations and I know this seems a little silly, but in my younger days – I had always secretly wanted to be approached in the street and asked to have my photo taken.  Face Hunter style.

As nice as it was to be approached because there was “that something” about you that the photographer wanted to capture, I still much prefer being behind the camera than in front of it.

“He lives the poetry that he cannot write. The others write the poetry that they dare not realise.” Oscar Wilde

He bought me these flowers, which he arranged himself, as a surprise for me.

I love that boy, a lot.

I am unashamed to admit that I hate Winter and almost everything about it.


People are wearing horrendous 80′s biker fashion this season, saying goodbye to sitting outside a café in your summer dress in the warmth of the afternoon sun, taking your dog outside for a pee at 6am and freezing your tits off. SO MUCH HATE HATE HATE.


So, to take my mind off the misery that is Winter evenings, I have decided to enroll myself in a TAFE Digital Photography Techniques course that runs over 6 weeks, Wednesday evenings at Central TAFE.


Now, I have mixed feelings in regards to “training” when it comes to photography. While I do not believe that you can be “taught” photography (ie. you either have the passion and artistic fair for it or you don’t. A course cannot teach you that.) I do believe that learning good techniques and learning new tips ‘n tricks through interaction always builds a strong foundation to grow on, and a course CAN teach you that.


To be honest, I wasn’t expecting great things from a TAFE short course. (Not because I think that I’m kick arse at photography, but simply because it’s TAFE… Perth is not blessed in the way of having an abundance of arts/design centers in the way that Melbourne is.)


But I was wrong. So very wrong.


In tonight’s class, we were focusing on nighttime movement and panning techniques which found us out and about Northbridge, clutching our cameras and tripods for dear life.


We set up across the road from Golden King BBQ and were given our first task – capture a car in motion while maintaining the restaurant in the back as crisp as possible.
We snapped away until we were satisfied with the result and then we were given our next task, practicing panning, again with cars in the same spot.


This task required a lot of patience to capture a shot that you were happy with not to mention the attention that we earned from passers-by and the motorists, i killed most of my battery just on panning alone!


The next task found us practicing those two techniques, but shooting each other in partners. Again gaining an audience as I did some hair flicking and swinging around a light pole for my partner to capture some movement while others just did some star jumps.


We got our shots and headed back to class, we were told we had to pick four of our favourite snapped images, one of each subject and technique and our teacher uploaded them into one big pool and displayed them on the projector, giving critique on each shot (there was no way to play favourites this way).


Overall, this was a great class and shaping up to be a great short course with loads of interaction and practical work, check out some of the pics taken during the class!

From STFU, Parents to Sad Keanu, there is a Tumblr blog for absolutely everything.

And now, I’ve had the honor of being featured on the Hot Nerds Reading Comics Tumblr!
Check me out in all my geeky glory, reading Preacher, with little baby Belle by my side.

So last Friday I picked up a new toy. And when I say “new toy” I mean a second hand Canon 450d, my very first dslr but certainly not my first venture into photography.


I had contemplated purchasing a brand new 550d twin lens kit but after extensive online research I decided that I needed to re-learn the basics first and once I’d progressed then I could upgrade.


I love that it gives me a reason, motivation, to get out there and see things from a different perspective and be more involved with my surroundings.


Here are a few pics that i’ve snapped up recently, all taken in and around East Perth where i live.


It’s a whole new world behind the lens of a camera.

So things have been quiet online lately, no blog posts in weeks as you can clearly see and not many tweets, my online presence has been very quiet.


Whenever that happens, it just means that my life is busy, so no need to worry! It’s a good thing. Trust me. There’s been so much happening and so many new and exciting changes, I’ll be sure to write all about them in future posts.


This is just a quick post to say – “It’s nothing personal.”


I’ve done a little e-clean of my various social networking profiles. Ok, i lie when i say a little. It was huge and whilst i don’t need to justify my actions to anyone, i just wanted to throw it out there that it’s nothing personal.


Facebook was fairly easy to clean-up seeing as i don’t normally add anyone that i don’t know personally, Facebook is my very ‘clean and generic’ social networking profile.
It’s where i add my Dad, Little Brother and the new boyfriend’s parents. It’s the profile where we never put the pics from last night’s party or talk about how a co-worker might be slowly driving you to suicide. It’s the profile that job agencies and employers may check. It’s the profile where I can genuinely keep connected with people i know but don’t necessarily want them to know too much.


My Twitter account however, that created a bit of a headache.


I originally signed up to Twitter and used it as more of a micro-blogging site rather than a social networking profile, i found that every whimsical ambiguous thought that i had on the spot flowed so easily into 140 characters, it was a great idea/thought dumping box to pluck from later and create a great piece of writing by elaborating on it.
Twitter was my version of carrying a pad and pen everywhere, at the ready, in case you had a brilliant moment of inspiration. To capture those fleeting moments of perfect prose and style that popped into your head as you were riding the bus home. The one’s you’d forget once you walked through the door when you got home.


I tweeted to ghosts, an imaginary audience. To no one.


But eventually, i started gaining more and more followers, and before i knew it – I was following way too many local people. Nice everyday people.


As the numbers grew, i found that i was censoring my tweets more and more. Conforming to the majority and soon i too was bitching about work, telling everyone i had toast for tea… and found the less i could write… It was as though the brain-numbing normality of everyone in my timeline was a virus, infecting my thoughts and words.


So it had to happen. I had to de-clutter who i was following and i had been following the “timeline of normalcy” long enough to know that something as small and insignificant as this was going to upset some people. That people were going to take it personally.


You unfollow people for a host of reasons – Their 2 minute spam tweets updating you with every meaningless detail of their life, the constant over-sharing, the bullshit, the everyday constant non-stop bitching about work/partner/life in general whilst they still idle and do nothing about it anyway, the stalking or i just don’t like you.

All valid reasons. But this cull? I just want to be able to write again. I don’t want to socially network online. I don’t care about numbers. I don’t care if you like me. I don’t care if that bitch at work is still bothering you today just like she was the day before and the day before that.


I just want to write again and i don’t want to be lost in the crowd, i don’t want to lose my original purpose.


I remember saying to Tanya once – “I don’t care if the only people that follow me are you and Warren Ellis, you’re all the people and inspiration that matter to me.” and i wasn’t lying.


So, once again, it’s nothing personal but you’re free to make it into whatever you like.


Also obligatory “INTERNET R SRS BSNS.”

Walking home from work, I slowed my pace as i approached the apartment, my childlike naivety faded with every step.


Hesitant steps.

‘Maybe she’ll be there, she hasn’t really gone.’


She won’t be there.


I turned the key, I didn’t even realise that I had been holding my breath.


One step over the threshold and i stood there for a brief moment, listening for any signs of life, waiting for her welcoming smile and warm presence to ask me how my day was.


Silence.


I saw a note on the kitchen counter and immediately read it, her words so pure and simple, straight from the heart. My brave face disappeared.


I hadn’t cried when i said goodbye to her for the last time in the morning before i left for work because I was partly in denial and partly used to always keeping my composure and i have an awkward delayed reaction to emotional situations, but her simple words – thanking me for everything, telling me she would never forget me and her love, was all it took.


I cried uncontrollably and unashamedly until all i could do was gasp for air and slump myself on the floor like a small child having a tantrum, until it felt better.


After i got myself together, i decided that i needed to stop feeling so sorry for myself and eat. That’s when i found his note, on top of my week old left-overs in the fridge.


I’m so glad i found his note last.


The first line read – “Dear Lil, this is Steve, not the contents of the fridge writing this!….” and i laughed, a hysterical laugh filled with both joy and sadness. I’m sure that if the neighbours had been listening, that they were now certain that i was some sort of schizophrenic.


I miss them, but this isn’t goodbye, not to my little sister.


Tanya came over an hour or so later, we shared how we’d been coping today. Al dropped by a UFC DVD for me, he stayed briefly and had a few laughs with us.
She stayed for hours, talking to me like the magnificent friend that she is. I am so blessed to have such fantastic people in my life.


No wonder saying Goodbye is so hard.

Valentine’s Day 2010


My pretend boyfriend is just the sweetest guy that I’ve ever known. He surprised me with a beautiful gift, he has such great taste because he knows exactly what i like and there was no sinister motive other than him wanting me to be happy.

Like a wise woman once said – “Cuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it, If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it, don’t be mad once you see that he want it, if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it.”


And that’s exactly what i did.
Yes. I went over to Pandora and bought myself a nice gift, treating myself for working through all the problems and challenges of the last couple of months on my own.


Don’t wait for a pat on the back from other people, you have to do things for yourself and not because it’s what’s expected of everyone else, at the end of the day – only you can make yourself happy. No one else can do that for you.

The streets, filled with their noise and filth, I don’t miss this at all. The lights and thrills, it’s all so cheap and transparent, what did i ever see in this place?


Sitting between a tranny and turds in the gutter, face in hands with a vacant expression, I now know how Alice felt like down in that rabbit hole, I just want to go home.


I think i missed being a part of something bigger. But now i realise, when you’re part of something bigger you’re just another face in the crowd, a statistic to the night.

How could it ever be just me and you? It never was. It never will be.


Sydney, how i loved you once, you could never count the ways.